Thursday 10 August 2017

to jimmy jacks

When my dad said ‘ you're going to love’’ jimmy jack I thought it will be the best day of my life!When I saw the place I thought it was great My smile was glued in it`s place on my face! But the inside was better I loved it My eyes sparkled with joy.  there was a fireplace and lots of table That's not all these more the Menu`s excellent I got the biggest food then I went home with a sore stomach

3 comments:

  1. Hi neko great story I realy liked but theres some parts that dosnt make senses and I liked the part where your I sparkled with joy and your face was glued in pace. Blog you later

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  2. Hi Neko, I really enjoyed your story about Jimmy Jacks because it reminds me when I went to Jimmy Jacks. Maybe next time you could try get a interesting title to hook your readers in. I noticed that you made a mistake in your title because every title has to start with a capital letter. Keep Up The Good Work. Blog ya later.

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  3. Hi Neko, I really enjoyed your story. It reminded me of going out with my family to different restraints. Maybe next time could you work on your sentences because it really doesn't make sense by it's self. Keep up the good work and remember to check your sentences. BLOG YOU LATER!!!

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